Glow Up Diaries – Introduction to a better M E

I have a feeling that this is gonna be a lengthy post but I don’t care.

I binge-watch a lot of videos on Youtube and came across Alivia D’Andrea. She has this “Glow Up Diaries” on her Playlist that shows her journey to glowing up. I super adore her. She edits her video really well I mean the best. She has a lot of inspirational notes. And most especially, she inspires me to do the same.

I want to glow-up.

This morning, I have this urge to document the things I have been doing since the lockdown. Not vlog because I suck at editing videos and taking photos but maybe, just blog. Type things down in this mini space that I have on the web.

Why do I want to glow-up?

I want to be the best version of myself. I want to look in the mirror and say, I’m beautiful – inside and out.

There will come a point in your life where you feel like you are stuck. Not just mentally, but more on physically. And that is where I am. When I see those people my age, I look like someone who never learns how to dress well, how to put lipstick or eyebrows, like I’m the same-old-boring me. Nothing change, oh! there’s one! my weight and that sucks! Before, I only have to think about how to remove all the acne on my face and now, I also need to work on those fats piling up my whole body.

This thought is killing me all the time. Whenever I look in the mirror, all I see are my imperfections: my acne, my large pores, my scars, my dark skin, my messy hair, my flabby arms, my belly fats, my fat legs. In short everything. I know this is not a healthy mindset but hey, I’m trying and that is why I want this change. I want it so badly even before and now, I have to start with something. I just need that s t a r t.

How to glow-up? 

Per Alivia, I need to do the following:

1. Watch a documentary

Check! I watched her. But is that enough? No. I need to constantly inspire myself and feed my brain with information that is helpful for my glow-up journey.

2. Hygiene

Clean myself and clean everything that surrounds me. This includes fixing my bed in the morning, my work table, and the corners of our house. A clean space = a clear mind.

3. Journal

Write everything down. From my plans for today, my weight loss journey, and anything that fills my mind. This is what I am not able to do this lockdown because I do not have the supplies. As much as I would like to do this, I just can’t go outside. But as soon as this quarantine is over, I will splurge on bujo essentials *funds, be with me*

4. Eat clean

Ok. Very basic but this is where I struggled a lot. I am not a sweet tooth before, but lately, I find myself binging on coffee jelly, cakes, and ice cream. And why is it that healthy foods are expensive and unhealthy foods are so cheap?

5. Exercise

I get tired easily to the point that I grasp for air by just going to the 3rd floor of a building using the stairs. Right now, I have been regularly doing exercise and though I’m not seeing results yet, I feel good about myself most of the time.

Tip: Search for an exercise that is not killing you. Something that even though is hard, you find it enjoyable. That way, you won’t have to drag yourself every day in finishing a 10-minute workout.

6. Dress well

This is such an easy thing to do when you have all the money in the world. But maybe, we can start somewhere. As for myself, I’m trying to buy a dress or jeans every payout. I am also trying to go out of my comfort zone where I choose colors/pastels instead of my regular black and gray get-up. I’m also planning to remove my colored-hair and focus on one skincare at a time.

7. Mistakes

Remember, I may not be able to stick to what I am planning to do 100% but that does not mean that I failed. Every day is an opportunity to make myself better, one mistake should not define me. Just keep pushing and be forgiving.

My  c u r r e n t  state

I am telling you right now that what you will be seeing are not-so-good pictures of mine. I’m starting to have second thoughts right now but I know deep inside that I need this courage and I need this diary for me to start accepting myself and start on doing something about it.

my face

I have a lot of acne when I was in high school and believe me when I say that those photos are already better compared to my face for the last 10 years.

This was taken today, right after I took a bath. I have deep scars on my face, acne marks and active acne including that gross thing inside my nose. I do not have any skincare products right now for I was not able to stack up before the lockdown but I’m happy about it cause I noticed that when I don’t use anything (aside from the soap I’m using on my face and body), that is when my face gets better. I’m saving up for microneedling session (help me God!) and will also do regular facial after the quarantine.

my body

I used to be at 47 kg, that is the reason why I cannot donate blood way back in college. Now before the quarantine, I’m at 58 kg. I don’t know what my weight is as of this moment since we do not have a weighing scale at home but I’m positive that I will get lower numbers by the end of this month. I found the 7-minute challenge of Lucy Wyndham-Read this morning and I actually love it. I did her belly, abs and legs workout. I also tried Chloe Ting, Ema Wong, and Madfit‘s workout. Again, look for a workout that you love and be consistent about it, that is the k e y.

my mind

If I can take a photo oy my brain, it will be a total mess. I have a lot on my mind as always and right now, I’m training it to slow down and stop overcorrecting myself.

When I say slow down, that means taking a bath or cleaning the house. Because that is when my mind feels at rest. A friend also sends me a link to a blog that talks about overcorrecting and that hits me hard.

m i n d  /  ma t t e r

I am planning to read books, sleep early, lessen my social media time, and learn a new skill.

I guess that is enough for my introduction. I don’t know how to update you with words after this entry but I will try my best to do so. I’m off to a great start. I’m feeling so good today. Way to go self, I know you can do this. I believe in you.

❤