20 THINGS I’M GOING TO DO IN MY 20’S

to-live-is-the-rarest-thing-in-the-world-most-people-exist-that-is-allI’m now on my twenty-ish and since then, I always get this feeling of not being able to accomplish anything and fear that I will not live my life to the fullest. So now, I’m gonna list the things I ought to do on my post-teen self life and crossing my fingers that I will be able to tick all these off the list. Let’s start:

1. To graduate and be an Engineer. I’m on my fifth year and an aspiring graduate of Batch 2017! *crossing fingers* Though as I’ve said in this post that I’ll be extended til summer, it’s okay, c’est la vie. I can still take the board on October (Cheer up!) Praying and thanking God for taking me this far.

2. Get a job I love. I am always blessed to have workmates who treat me as a family. That might be the reason why life at work is never really a burden for me. And when time comes that I’ll be a full pledge worker, I pray that I’ll have a job I will be passionate about and workmates I can kick ass with. 

3. Have a place called home. This is my ultimate goal before I hit 30 — to build a home together with my Mama, sisters and nieces. We really don’t care if it is just a bungalow type of house (though I wanted a mansion for them), as long as we’re together, we know we couldn’t be any happier.

4. Be financially responsible. It’s somethings that I’ve been really having a hard time doing since I started working. I always get frustrated whenever I received my ITR cause I always end up wondering, “Where the heck these money goes through out the year?”.

5. To travel abroad. It’s always on my dreams, plans rather, to travel the world. Some may wanna travel alone but I want to travel with someone, as always. Not because I’m afraid of the possibility of getting lost (cause it’s nice to be lost sometimes), but I had this mindset that it is happier and memorable when you travel with somebody — family, friends or Jay.

6. Have a business. Ironically speaking, although I suck at handling money, I always wanted to have a business. I’m a great believer that having a business have more opportunity to make money than employed individuals do. On top of that, and the best thing for me is, you have the luxury of time! No rushing, no deadlines!

7. Stick to a healthy lifestyle. This is something my body is proactively screaming about. My super busy life leads me to a very unhealthy routine everyday: no sleep, heavy stress, more processed foods. I wanted to go to a gym (or at least, do some jogging every morning) and eat a lot of veggies. But don’t get me wrong, I still super go for buffets and eat like a man!

8. Inked. I have one in mind since last year but I promise myself to have it after graduation. Its a sign I asked God when I felt like giving up. Symbolizes God’s promise in my life.

9. Volunteer for a cause. Either I’m just helping in packing relief goods or cooking food for the homeless, it is something I wanna do in the future. And that isn’t just a one-time thing for me, it’s what I intend to do until I still can. As the saying goes, the secret to happiness is helping others.

10. Learn how to bake. I had this crazy cravings for cakes and all other pastries and I think it will be amazing that I can just do it my own. Good luck to my healthy lifestyle goal, though.

11. Have a car and learn how to drive. I wanted to bring my family to places. A lot of places. I also wanted to get lost with Jay and experience the joyride feels with loud music and hands outside the window.

12. Send my younger sisters to school. I promised to my parents that we are going to finish college and there’s no reason I will not do that for myself and for my sisters. As the eldest, I’m taking this as my responsibility and  will work hard to provide everything they need no matter what it takes. I will.

13. Be adventurous. Now, this might sound like #3 but it’s not. I’ve always been someone who values leisurely activities like movie marathons, walks, food trips. In short, things that I wouldn’t have to break a sweat doing. But that’s just the other side of me, maybe the reason why I do it more right now is because I’m craving some body rest. But once everything is settled, I wanted to try hiking, bungee jumping, snorkeling, parasailing, and surfing. 

14. Finish a series. I have never finished a TV series, ever. I keep on watching new ones and never finishing them for some reasons. Though most of the series I’m watching are still ongoing, I have F.R.I.E.N.D.S, How I Met Your Mother and Breaking Bad piled up that were just open once and none at all. I also tried watching the first two episodes of Descendants of the Sun which makes me wanna fly to Korea and bring home Big Boss A S A P! 

15. Attend a festival. I have never experienced a festival in the Philippines. We have fiesta in town but it’s not as marvelous as others have. So, I’m making it a point to go to at least one festival and I’m thinking of Sinulog, Maskara, Pahiyas, Higantes or Ati-atihan.

16. Read 12 books in a year. I wanted to at least finish a book per month. I know that is such a noob way but I run out of books to read and I can’t afford to buy as many as I want yet. Though it would be practical to just download e-books online, I still go for the printed ones. 

17. Donate blood. Two of the fears I have in my life were needles and stitches. But whenever there is a blood letting activity at TUP before, I always insist to donate but it always turns out that I am underweight. I wanted to do that to conquer my fear and help people. Maybe it’s not yet time. I shall keep trying.

18. Go to a concert. Coldplay will be throwing a concert next year and no matter how much I wanted to be there, funds is going crazy. So, I’ll just save this up for other concerts I wish to attend like Maroon 5 (Adam!), Paramore, Ed Sheeran, John Mayer and Jason Mraz. Maybe not in the Philippines but hopefully, in other parts of the world. Traveling and Concert-ing (what?) at the same time!

19. Be more confident. I haven’t always been a confident person. I always think that there is something wrong with me and that people will judge me. I wanted to dress up in my unusual way, walk without turning heads to someone I find better than me and do things without having to please anyone but me. I know deep in myself that I can conquer it, I just have to learn it little by little.

20. Maintain good relationships. I have the best relationship with my Mama, sisters and nieces, with Jay and his family, and a few real friends that I know will always be there. I vow to take good care of them and maintain what we have right now. Though change is inevitable, I promise to keep what I have for you guys throughout the coming years.

Woah! I still have eight years to do these things, ryt? I hope I become a better woman than I am now.

And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful, it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” ― L.R. Knost

Late But Never Too Late

Today marks the day I knew I will not be attending the March graduation AND THAT IS FREAKING D I S A P P O I N T I N G! 😥

giphy-1

Okay. Forgive me but I’m really trying to get myself together while typing this entry cause I’m near into punching myself everytime I realized that harsh truth. Anyway, yes, you read it right: I’M NOT GRADUATING YET. NOT THIS MARCH, BUT HOPEFULLY ON OCTOBER.

I’m now starting to think that all odds are against me everytime I’ll be on my graduating stage. WHY:

Elementary: My father died.

High School: My mother, something happened to her, and that screwed me all the way losing the chance of being the class Valedictorian (Oh yes, I’m a consistent honor student since gradeschool) and now,

College: Dean changes (which sets the doom for almost all of us, graduating) and he does not allow me to take the remaining 2 subjects (YES, JUST THE 2 SUBJECTS!!! Overload issues which I blame them cause they didn’t allow me to enroll those before!). I tried my hardest to look for alternatives like cross-enrolling but still, he disagreed. Why can’t he not understand that I can’t afford not to graduate on March and that I don’t have money and time to pay for another sem! WHY!!!!!! It’s very disappointing cause those overload issues where not given attention before and last batch graduated with even 27 units! And me, It’s just 25! effin’ 25!! Why not just let me? And what’s more amazing is that, there is a little chance of having those subjects opened on summer. FUDGE!!!!

THAT’S HOW UNFORTUNATE MY GRADUATION STORY GOES, EVERYTIME

But there’s one thing that calms me amidst all those shitty things, it’s that: I CAN STILL TAKE THE 2017 BOARD EXAM AND I WILL BE CALLED AS ENGINEER DURING OUR GRADUATION. I WILL HOLD ON TO THAT PROMISE, GOD. I may not understand it now (honestly, I really don’t) but I lift everything to you. We had a deal, and again, I HOLD ON TO THAT.

for now…giphy-2

My “job” so far

Heyaaa! I’m on my 2nd week of being a working student and life so far is about surviving. The truth is, I don’t know how I’m surviving either! I can hear myself screaming, “SLEEP NIGGA!”. Hahaha

BTW. Lemme share my new work.

I’m already working in a call center company in Cavite but I’m not taking calls anymore. I’m a Virtual Assistant of a client from US.

Virtual Assistant, typically abbreviated to VA, provides professional administrative, technical, or creative (social) assistance to clients remotely from a home office.

Wow di ba? Medyo sossy ang title ko. But to make it simple, this is how it goes: Yung mga Boss ko inuutusan ako via email or Skype. No customer, pure client talks. Period.

Though it may sound easy, I find it a very challenging job. Iba pa rin kasi kapag kaharap mo lang Boss mo unlike you communicating through a medium. The reason for me is that, you don’t know if you satisfy them or not and they can be a real ass over the phone/email, sometimes. Another thing is that, you don’t undergo training. Pagpasok mo, sabak agad!

But from all those downside, what I love about it is that, all are admin works! That is actually my forte that’s why I still feel comfortable in some ways. What’s even relaxing is, you can do everything you want as long as you do your job! Like, you’re allowed to eat on your station any time, bring or leave your stuffs and even use your cellphone in the operations area! Cool, ryt? That is why even if I’m at work on 9PM, I stilll have time to chitchat with Jay. Landi!

To wrap this up, my job so far is an anwered prayer. Now I know the reason why God didn’t gave me good schedule on the previous company I applied with. I really thank God for protecting me from what I thought I wanted and blessing me with what I din’t know I needed. :’)Image result for god know what's best for me quotes

Obsessive Comparison Disorder

I’m in this crisis that I thought is just normal (cause I had it since birth), but is never normal, of being so obsess comparing myself to others. Something that if it has an award, I’ll hand myself a trophy. Seriously.

giphyHahahaha

I’m 21 and I’m not seeing myself any better than what I imagined myself to be. I look forward to this phase of my life and I always thought that it will be cool, glam and stress-free. But wtf! everything is exactly the opposite. What came out is a stressed life, lot of work/responsibilities that’s never having enough money and satisfaction, not to mention my ever messy hair and fez. And what sucks the most is when you look around those people — your friend’s graduation, your friend’s reviewing/passing the Board Exam, your friend’s going places, your friend’s flawless skin and your friends that are so happy and in love. Those are just, but not limited to, the things that bothers me and drowns me.

So instead of letting it kill me, I researched on what I can do to at least lessen this effin’ feeling and I ended up reading this: 3 Ways to Cure Obsessive Comparison Disorder. That made me realize (though I know it since then) that the real culprit is/was/will be my never-ending insecurities, my “Obsessive Comparison Disorder”.

What is Obsessive Comparison Disorder?

OBSESSIVE COMPARISON DISORDER, n. Its a compulsion to constantly compare ourselves with others, producing unwanted thoughts and feelings that drive us to depression, consumption, anxiety, and all-around joyous discontent. -Paul Angone.

I do this a lot and I believe that many will agree that it’s so easy to compare your life with other people. We find ourselves trying to figure out how they have gained success and wonder why we could do it too even if that success isn’t necessarily the kind of success we really want.

The Side Effects of Obsessive Comparison Disorder

  • OCD is the leading cause to buying things we shouldn’t. (Even if it cost you to hunger-strike-yourself!)
  • OCD makes us look through every picture of friend’s “My Life is Awesome” Facebook album, depressed because our life looks nothing like “it’s supposed to”. (Adding your tendency to bash your frenemies and searching on their gray areas that will eventually slap you in the face, cause you find nothing.)

aziz ansari i hate you comedy hate

  • OCD devours with Bubonic-Plagueness creativity, energy, and peace — three vital characteristics you are going to need to live your life well. (And the ending is, you’re never really happy and satisfied. Sad? I know right.)

happy birthday things will online

3 Ways to Cure Obsessive Comparison Disorder

  • Put on Blinders

Blinders help us get away from being distracted to what’s distracting us. It force us to focus on what’s exactly our goal, and nothing else.

  • Cut back on Facebook and TV

Paul has this recommendation that he assured will cut our OCD in half — to lessen your Facebook and TV time. I somehow agree with this cause that is where we’re getting the ideas of someone doing better than us including those people who are really good projecting themselves as the one who-have-everything in social media. BEWARE!

  • Celebrate What You Do

Don’t obsess about everything you don’t. Someone’s always going to have bigger boobs, bonuses, and boats. We need to celebrate on the ship we’re sailing, instead of drowning as we attempt to swim to someone else’s. (I love this statement. Well said!)

happy parks and recreation celebration celebrate chris pratt

So here’s to us, OCD’s! Let me end this entry by saying,

“Lets commit to do better and better everyday, not to surpass anyone, but yourself.” #NoteToSelf

Life of a StuWork

I was just 18 years old when I got my first job as a crew of Mc Donald’s. Yes I am! So I exactly know the feeling cooking the yummiest fries on Earth while thinking ano-kaya-kung-kainin-ko-lahat-to-tas-magreresign-ako-bukas. Hahaha. I just love my work during that time. I was even awarded as Rookie of the Month because I’m super bida-bida! I remember working for 15 hours straight! Ang hirap kumita ng pera. Anyway. I went on AWOL (wag gayahin), personal issues? End of story.

So after a year, when I was kicked out from my first University and I no longer had a choice but to transfer in a private University, it leads me to try my luck working in a BPO Industry to sustain my and our needs.

BPO, long for Business Process Outsourcing, is the contracting of a specific business task to a third-party service provider. In layman’s term, CALL CENTER. 

I remember having that shaky voice during my Final Interview. Yung type kasi ng final interview sa gantong industry depends on what account you’ll be put into. Well sakin, bank account, so you’ll pretend like you’re a long time agent sa isang banko. They’ll provide you with some papers to review and then in minutes you’ll be place in a room with a telephone. You need to focus in that short period of time cause you need to at least answer the questions you’ll be hearing on the phone. Imagine answering it like how a Customer Service of BDO/BPI/METROBANK does!? Fudge.

Luckily I was one of the 3 people who passed the interview for that account. Then I had my job signing at almost 1AM in the evening, I went home late but with great hope, happiness and fulfillment.

Asikaso ng papers then medical chuchu ang next step. After a week, salang na sa training. Unfortunately, after 2 months of training, I did not pass. All of my batchmates including my trainer and managers were so shock at very nanghihinayang. Syempre I was one of the bida bida that time (pinakabata kasi tas call center virgin) tas babagsak sa final wave.

And then I thought that BPO was never for me, but another luck came cause I received a phone call from the same company telling me to have my papers ready again cause they’ll be transferring me to another account. And tada!! I’m in. Still alive and kicking staying for more than a year! 😀

Some of you might ask me why? Bakit nga ba?

Well aside from the fact that money was never easy for us, it’s one of my dreams. Yea, I dreamed of being a working student when I was a child. I really admire those people who managed to work and study at the same time. One thing also is that I’m a very very independent person. I don’t like asking for money that much and I like having things on my own.

Nakakaproud at the same time nakakapagod ang feeling. Yung tipong iiyak ka na lang kasi gusto mong matulog pero di pwede? I’ll tell you, you’ll get to meet that angel-like and demon-like people all over the world over the phone.

And isa pa, iba ang worklife kapag pamilya na turing mo sa katrabaho mo. Work never felt like working anymore when you get to find happiness and comfort in it. Masaya lang. May kasama ka sa pagod at reklamo. Sabi nga nila, #WhenWorkBecomesFamily. That I guess is the main reason why I’m still alive, I have a family wherever I go.

So, whenever you feel like being like us, work not just because you need it but because you’re happy doing it and at the end of the day, you’ll find yourself having that worth-it-feeling. I’ll leave you with a note from Great Confucius:

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” 

❤️

TV Series

Since Saab is one of my inspirations of doing a feeling-ko-blog-page, I’ll do my Pop Quiz too! Just stuffs of random things.
 
Got the feeling of really wanting to watch a Series but time is just so selfish to not let you do it? Yaaa, loser feels. Oh God! When will I have time?
 

Here’s whats on my list that I hope I can start watching now that 2016 is coming! (Nung konek ng new year sa panunuod ng movies?)

1. The Walking Dead (2010 TV Series)

Sheriff Deputy Rick Grimes leads a group of survivors in a world overrun by zombies.

This was the first series i got hooked on. Though I’m not a huge fan of Zombies, nung napanuod ko to, I feel like I had the tricks and guts on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. Hahaha, huwag lang yung zombie na katulad nung World War Z. That was the worst zombie apocalypse that could ever happen. Oh please no!

Season 6 Episode 4: “Here’s Not Here”. The most unforgettable Episode next to Glenn-na-inakalang-patay-pero-di-ako-naniwala Episode. Though maraming nagsabing boring (No. 1 ang magaling kong bf), I still find it so beautiful that I still cry even on the 3rd time watching it. Got inlove with Cheeseman’s character.

2. Game of Thrones (2011 TV Series)

Several noble families fight for control of the mythical land of Westeros.

34cc3f_4d8a0c0860654ddd8b7b1e575b2ac68a

Got to watch its first 2 Episodes. Warning, bawal panuorin sa sala. Had a lot of rated PG. Anyway, My Mom is my INSIST-or when it comes to this series. She even wants me to look for a book!

3. Breaking Bad (2008 TV Series)

A chemistry teacher diagnosed with terminal lung cancer teams up with his former student to cook and sell crystal meth.

34cc3f_0ac9c8f8ef27420caffe15a81f26ab08

“Ganda talaga nyan.” – Chino (Workmate)

100 times niya ng sinabi yan just to insist me to watch it ASAP. LOL XD

4. How I Met Your Mother (2005 TV Series)

A father recounts to his children, through a series of flashbacks, the journey he and his four best friends took leading up to him meeting their mother. 

Got curious cause a lot of GIFs are playing on tumblr. I just had a feeling like you should know this cause if not, you’ll missed half of your life.

5. Friends (1994–2004)

Follows the lives of six 20-something friends living in Manhattan.

34cc3f_4df2e2df483344ea942b9d2eb38cc033

Though this is way back a lot of years, I still wanna watch it. Iba kapag friendship ang topic ng movie. Super relate lang in all scenes. Ryt?

Here’s my list as of the moment. I got a lot of series that my workmates are pushing me to watch and I’m really crossing my fingers that I can finish them all. HOPEFULLY!

 ❤️